New Year and New Perspective
The New Year rolls around and everyone sets their resolutions to be a better person, healthier person and a more successful person. This year, I find myself with a new perspective. Losing weight…really isn’t an option at this time. 
So…I’ve began thinking. I’m becoming a mother. Wow…that’s a scary and exciting thought. Ever since I was a little girl, playing house with my baby dolls, I wanted to be a mother. There was something about the idea of taking care of a little baby and mananging a home that sounded like a good idea. I don’t know if it is all innate or if we were conditioned to feel that way…all I know is that I desired that experience. Now, I am 30 years old and I am about to embark on this childhood dream. Of course, the childish rendition of this experience leaves out all the not-so-fun parts. I never understood the realistic pain of childbirth, breastfeeding, and late night cries. And with all the “diapers” I changed on my doll…I know they never stunk like the real thing. However, as much as those things don’t sound like a good idea…I have to admit I am getting excited about the arrival of our little girl even with this knowledge.
My New perspective in this New Year is that EVERYTHING I do will impact this child. I knew this concept but not like I do now. I am bombarded with the thoughts of how every decision I make, every word I say and literally everything in my life will impact this child. Some of them more than others…but now I am faced with the reality and responsibility of having this child. Granted…I’m definitely not perfect…so I’m going to have to depend on the Sovereignty, Mercy & Grace of God …A LOT! I pray for the future of this child. I pray that I will be the mother I was created to be. I pray that I will be the disciplinarian who is loving but stern when I am supposed to be. I pray that I will be a parent who protects my child but also knows when to let them experience their own choices and consequences. I pray that I will be wise and not naiive. I know I will make lots of mistakes, but I am so aware of my sinful nature and the responsibility of fighting that nature especially as I become a parent.